the war on terrorism is a lie-right out in the open and seemingly immune to attack. terrorism is not suffering nearly so much as people and freedoms. it is not right that one civillian should die in a counter-terrorist strike, just as the death of a civillian at the hands of a terrorist is reprehensible. [...]

up late, once more, with nothing to do and too much on my mind. just one shot, but all the jameson memories flashed by… hangovers, candy, jagermeister chasers. temporary disconnections make life more bearable. … and yet i await being plugged in for another tedious 8-hour work set, to be followed by waiting another three [...]

there was no post yesterday as i was temporarily trapped in a strange and ultimately megalomaniacal universe in which i mattered, but was unable to speak or otherwise explain myself to those around me. and i’m back… with no noticeable differences, other than my ability to post a simple update. work continues. “americans are friendly [...]

and dawn comes thundering in, shoving aside the last yawning dreams, shattering the placid watershed of thought, stirring up dull aches and throbbing, scaring the quiet owls back into their retreats and ushering in droves of squawking social birds. not that i slept, or had any intention of doing so. waking up on time isn’t [...]

my thoughts for 2001: (a) life on the street is cold and hard… you will feel the elements, find yourself unsheltered, and the cold will become a part of you. (b) people are strange… some resemble animals in mannerism and appearance. i saw a lady that reminded me of a precambrian fossil… alive? something you’d [...]

confusion… distorted perspective… smile. confusion. cigarette. stab. choke. smile.

The picture of a madman jabbering in a corner, a smiling clown at the window. Why does he fear the clown? Do we share his madness, if we see it too..? But in the end there is only acceptance. Denial denies itself after twisting off the circulation of feeling. Guilt gives way to anger before [...]

It was a long walk, but somewhere along the way a moth flew into my open palm as I swung my arms in synchronous motion with my feet. I let it go, it flew away. Unlike T*****. In a paroxysm of birth and suicide, T***** killed his insect effigy with a single slumbering arm haphazardly [...]

I came across a rat which had been run over by a car. It was still fresh, pink, and some of the bones were protruding from the corpse. I could not tell whether or not the rat had felt much pain in its death, as the head was too badly mangled to interpret. This much [...]

I, an insomniac, am compelled to refuse many things. I refuse to live in this intolerable mess of a world. I refuse to die, as I would be giving in to myself and my nature. I refuse to love others, knowing that they will inevitably disappoint me. I refuse to hate others, seeing this as [...]