Self-observation is an antidote to feeling helplessly trapped. – The Heart of Addiction … but cells only contain mirrors as another form of incarceration.

Addiction lets people do ugly things to themselves. Crackhead vs The Altruist Operator [Brandishing a fresh pack] Wanna cigarette? From one addict (that’s me) to another… [Desynch from trance state/boggled, realizes he is being addressed] Can you spare some change? [Takes cigarette: dirty, gnarled yellow fingernails have grown long - into claws] I like to [...]

WallsTableShadows and catsGreen eyesMany eyesMillionfold eyesThe womanNervous scattered cravingsInflamed lifeSwollen lampsDancing shadowLittle shadowGreat shadowTHE SHADOWOh—the leap over the shadowIt tortures [me] this shadowIt martyrs [me] this shadowIt devours me this shadowWhat desires this shadowCocainOutcryAnimalsBloodAlcoholPains – Kokain by Sebastian Drostefrom Empire of Ecstasy You can probably survive for: a week without food, a few days without [...]

The twisted limbs, the gaping mouths, the staring lustreless eyes, fascinated him. He knew in what strange heavens they were suffering, and what dull hells were teaching them the secret of some new joy. They were better off than he was. He was prisoned in thought. Memory, like a horrible malady, was eating his soul [...]

Smoek:MeetOncologicallyEvisceratingKnowledge – Operator

Since you are not going anywhere and things are not going very well, why not? could try stitching together the vituperative convocation, thoughts chewing each others’ throats, blood clotting on fangs and gristle in thick reddish-black drippings – simultaneously sinuous and gritty mucosal grift, lifeblood cashed out – Everything falls apart, sooner or later. something [...]