In(f|t)ernal Monologue Redux
Most therapists discourage the use of extreme terms.
For example, a wife would be challenged when she says, “he never spends time with the kids,” unless she can prove that the term never is factually accurate. More often than not such a term isn’t entirely on target and, moreover, it often generates defensiveness on the person toward it is directed.
If the wife makes a slight change and says, “he doesn’t spend nearly as much time with the kids as I would like him to,” not only is she conveying a likely more accurate statement, but she’s setting up a productive, problem-solving dialogue with the husband.
- A Russian Doctor Hates Me
ShrinkTalk.net
2009-10-20
The power of words – I think we hold our internal monologue (my voice) far too dear. It is wrong to attempt to force the world outside our preconceived notions to conform but that doesn’t stop us from trying.
How much conflict could be avoided if the words of each of our operators were accepted as that – merely words – reframed as advice and not dogmatic truth?
Advice? I am you.
